You should never have come here...
I thought it widely established that one's benevolence as host hinges upon reciprocal veneration. So why is it, dear traveler, that my hand extended in greeting returns to me draped in lacerations?
You blatantly disregard my guidance and transgress upon my clandestine chambers. Regrettably, I find myself unable to curtail your inconsiderate wander. Most perturbatory...
Fruitless as it may be, I once again reiterate my previous exhortation: you are forbidden to explore any further. Terrible afflictions await should you be foolish enough not to heed my warning.
Defy me at your own peril.