You should never have come here...
I thought it widely established that one's benevolence as host hinges upon reciprocal veneration. So why is it, dear traveler, that my hand extended in greeting returns to me as if draped in lacerations?
You blatantly disregarded my guidance on the landing page and transgressed upon my clandestine chambers. Regrettably, I find myself unable to curtail your inconsiderate wandering. Most perturbatory...
Fruitless as it may be, I shall once again reiterate my previous exhortation: you are forbidden from exploring any further. Terrible afflictions await should you be foolish enough not to heed my warning.
Defy me at your own peril.