Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!


From: Capt. Tyler Joshua

To: Liam

Subject: Two Trunks.2

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am sorry to encroach into your privacy in this manner, I found you listed in the Trade Center Chambers of Commerce directory here in Iraq and I find it pleasurable to offer you my partnership in business.

I only pray at this time that your address is still valid. I want to solicit your attention to receive money on my behalf.

I am CAPT Tyler Joshua, an officer in the USA Army and also a West Point Graduate presently serving in the Military with the 82nd Air Borne Division Peace keeping force.

I am on the move to Afghanistan and i really need your help in assisting me with the safe keeping of two military trunk boxes. I hope you can be trusted? Kindly view for your record: If you can be trusted, I will explain further when i get a response from you.

Nevertheless, reconfirm the following to me as follows and please ensure to reply via my private e-mail address:

  1. Name:
  2. Address:
  3. Telephone:
  4. Copy of drivers license:

Thanks for your cooperation, God bless you and America !!

Best regards,
Capt.Tyler Joshua.

From: Liam

To: Capt. Tyler Joshua

Subject: Re:Two Trunks.2

Dear Capt. Joshua,

I must confess, I was deeply distressed when opening this email. I simply could not believe that someone I do not know would encroach into my privacy in this manner. Therefore, I was indeed pleasantly surprised that from the very first sentence you appeared to completely understand my anguish regarding such matters. I realized then and there that you are truly a trustworthy individual.

If for no other reason, I am glad you contacted me because I now know my information is somehow listed in Iraqi Trade Center Chambers of Commerce directory, which I was unaware of and rather shocked by. Clearly, the people I entrusted my enterprises in that region to are most untrustworthy, despite their previous assurances. I supposed I'm not all that surprised, truth be told. They were shockingly successful in the beginning and for a while doing business with them proved very profitable indeed. Ever since they lost Mosul, however, they have become a most unreliable ally. I suppose I shall have to sever our business ties.

After reading the article you provided about the unaccounted money in Iraq, your mysterious possession of "two military trunkboxes", and your sudden need to move to Afganistan, my attention piqued. Nevertheless, sir, your attempts in correspondence are in dire need of subtlety. It wouldn't take a man of extraordinary intelligence to decipher what you were trying to convey. You were lucky this time, having sent this email to a man of discretion and finesse such as myself, but that may not always be the case. If this partnership is to be fruitful, we must employ more tact.

As to your repeated inquiries regarding my trustworthiness, that label is anything but misapplied when it comes to yours truly. For example, my friend Dennis has been embezzling from the company we used to work at in the years past. Dennis knows I learned of this fact yet he completely trusts me that I will not report his crimes to the authorities because he has never once been late with payments which ensure my silence.

As for my personal information, you will find it below.

Name: Liam Ethan Jackson
Address: 3085 Point Grey Rd, Vancouver, BC V6K 1A7, Canada
Telephone: Due to allergies I do not own a telephone.

Copy of drivers license:

I look forward to our continued cooperation.

الله أكبر!

Best Regards,

From: Google

To: Liam

[Your message wasn't delivered to because the address couldn't be found. Check for typos or unnecessary spaces and try again.]

My name is Tomaž.Tolkien and 40k lore aficionado, TV show connoisseur, Apple enthusiast, and fixer of computers. Referenced1 in several2 doctoral theses. Friendly unless provoked.
1Mentioned in dedication2Two
Also, I'm Batman.
Nice try. I'm untraceable, bitch!
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